What I've been up to lately..

Dear cutiepies , YES I AM WRITING TO YOU GUYS :D I bet that you guys are wondering where I went and here's a post about what I've been doing lately . I've been doing alot of reflecting and finding ways to cheer myself up and while browsing through my old photos I found this :

Yay it's my old art work And if you guys saw my instagram I did some DIY decorations for a Halloween event .
From all of these :

(Hey Luna , need a hand ?)
To these :

TADA!And recently I've been really addicted to this game which is sho cute :

Did you see that cutieeeeeee?! OMG IT LOOKS SHO HAPPY Anyway that's pretty much about it. I thinking about doing a giveaway and a game video , what do you guys think ? Tweet me if you've seen this :D Love you guys *bear hug* Boop!

A trip down memory lane

Hello there , As you guys know I haven't been posting videos and such .
There are a couple of stuff that I've recorded and edited but ..
Meh I don't think I should have excuses for that SO YEAH , I'm gonna uploaded them soon and I hope there are people who still wants to see them :D

Anyway , I'm lost .
Yes I am .
I've been thinking alot these days and I just felt that the whole drama thing that happened the last time shouldn't be even happening in the first place.
Let's just say that a couple of people have been talking to me about how I shouldn't post bad things that happened to me up online.
The thing is , I didn't start that shit up and I have been accused over and over again about bringing Ridhwan down .
When people tell me that I shouldn't have posted pictures of my damn face up (which I clearly didn't, I only sent them to two of my close friends because I thought they should know) I just kept quiet,
I don't think that they know any thing and I just really hope that the whole thing can cleared up and let us move on with our lives without comments like
"eh you beat your girlfriend" or "attention seeker" blah blah blah .
Life has never been the same after that incident and I just wish that we could just reverse time and made up calmly so no harm could be done .
Apparently time doesn't work that way .

I hate to say this but I really need to grow up .

When I was a kid I never had a good memory of my family .
To me they were just people that I have special names for and address them differently.
I used to hate the place I called home so much because I have to look at the people who has never supported me emotionally through out my life ,
Like participating competitions and there's nobody there to say "Luna , I'm proud of you" when I did well and all the other kids would say like "Yay ! My Mum/Dad is here to see me !"
But still I feel fortunate that I have a roof over my head and some money to buy food and to survive .

ME ?

I like to keep things to myself .
It was so hard for me to talk to people or to open up my feelings to someone.
I had friends though , they were the people that I play catching/ice and water with during recess and the people whom I go LAN with during secondary school or do crazy stuff after school and have fun .
I used to have a best friend in primary school , she was the reason why I put on alot of weight ( I used to be damn skinny and she was jealous ) but we lost contact after I moved .
After that I didn't know what having a best friend felt like , everyone I kinda knew were making drama like disturbing the outcast of the class or competing against each other but pretending to be so close and friendly .
I had to be careful of who I trusted and that was so hard .
It used to be "This is my friend" or "I don't wanna friend you anymore!" and suddenly it became "I don't like this girl because aslfjheoiryhejfdadgfgfgfdgfdg and when we hang out she's so qoewisdhbgtdjnvxughrgg "
If you don't like that person why are you still hangingout with her and acting so nice?!
ARRRGGGHHHHHH WHY ARE THINGS SO COMPLICATEDDDDD ?!
So anyway , when I went to SOTA I met this girl .
She's called Melody . There were 4 girls called Melody from the same Year so I called her Greyster because she loves the color grey and friendster was like the thing back then .
We hung out alot , and for the first time of my life I sneaked out after dark and got into trouble with my parents at like 10 pm when I reached home .
We cried to songs that reminded us about our crush , we practiced music together and got into so much trouble basically we were with each other for almost the whole year I was at SOTA , until I got kicked out.
We've drifted apart and we had so much up's and down's in our friendship , I could remember almost everything that happened .
That girl , I call her my best friend .
Reason ?
She was the few people I could be real with and I know I can trust her while we are in a society that has so many hypocrites that were ready to put anyone down anytime and it's sad to know that we are still living in it.
Although we aren't that close any more, she's the first person I would call when I go through a mental breakdown and she would be there and give me advice and such .
I really appreciate her existence.

So here's to you ,
Thanks for remembering that I am still around after these 6 long years .
You took up a big part of my life when I was growing up .
And I hope you're gonna be around long because 
Baby you light up my world and you got a love like woe-ah-oh-ah-oh
Forget it I suck at this .
Thanks for being here when I need you and I'll be seeing you to collect my present BEEEEECCCCHHH :D

And to my cutiepies ,
Thanks for hanging around and supporting me , I love you guys .
I hope you guys would be around for the fan meet , I miss you all so much *bear hug*
AND I'm NOT SORRY for this weird post ,

*boop*

Love or disaster?

What is love ? Does it lead to a relationship that last forever or does it make you feel miserable and really happy at the same time ? Sometimes I ask myself what is my relationship about, I don't even understand why I'm still fighting so hard to keep things going . It's always fighting , feeling so miserable and sad and suddenly we could make up and feel so loved like we could never be apart from each other . I always get jealous at the other couples , like how are they so perfect together and so happy ? I never asked . All I know is that I'm losing myself to the guy that might be the love of my life . Love isn't selfish , and it's supposed to be so patient and kind but despite everything that has happened I cant seem to feel the warmth I first felt from you and so much time has been lost searching for it . I keep having this question asked " How are you so patient with a guy like him ? " . The answer is I don't know , maybe because I keep thinking that everything would be better in time but it doesn't and then I try again . All we do is just keep holding on. It's funny how humans could just sacrifice everything they have and ask for nothing in return just for love , is it really worth it to have everything drained away from you ? To have me under your spell ; something I don't want to break free from , thinking that we could just leap into 'happily ever after' in each other's arms . I know what's best for me but you've put me down whenever I had the courage to ask you for it. If only you could show me that I'm really worth it, I promise I'll never let you down . Don't forget the promises you've made to me .. p.s There's so many things on my mind but I cant really touch on anything much so sorry for the short post .