What I've been up to lately..

Dear cutiepies , YES I AM WRITING TO YOU GUYS :D I bet that you guys are wondering where I went and here's a post about what I've been doing lately . I've been doing alot of reflecting and finding ways to cheer myself up and while browsing through my old photos I found this :

Yay it's my old art work And if you guys saw my instagram I did some DIY decorations for a Halloween event .
From all of these :

(Hey Luna , need a hand ?)
To these :

TADA!And recently I've been really addicted to this game which is sho cute :

Did you see that cutieeeeeee?! OMG IT LOOKS SHO HAPPY Anyway that's pretty much about it. I thinking about doing a giveaway and a game video , what do you guys think ? Tweet me if you've seen this :D Love you guys *bear hug* Boop!

A trip down memory lane

Hello there , As you guys know I haven't been posting videos and such .
There are a couple of stuff that I've recorded and edited but ..
Meh I don't think I should have excuses for that SO YEAH , I'm gonna uploaded them soon and I hope there are people who still wants to see them :D

Anyway , I'm lost .
Yes I am .
I've been thinking alot these days and I just felt that the whole drama thing that happened the last time shouldn't be even happening in the first place.
Let's just say that a couple of people have been talking to me about how I shouldn't post bad things that happened to me up online.
The thing is , I didn't start that shit up and I have been accused over and over again about bringing Ridhwan down .
When people tell me that I shouldn't have posted pictures of my damn face up (which I clearly didn't, I only sent them to two of my close friends because I thought they should know) I just kept quiet,
I don't think that they know any thing and I just really hope that the whole thing can cleared up and let us move on with our lives without comments like
"eh you beat your girlfriend" or "attention seeker" blah blah blah .
Life has never been the same after that incident and I just wish that we could just reverse time and made up calmly so no harm could be done .
Apparently time doesn't work that way .

I hate to say this but I really need to grow up .

When I was a kid I never had a good memory of my family .
To me they were just people that I have special names for and address them differently.
I used to hate the place I called home so much because I have to look at the people who has never supported me emotionally through out my life ,
Like participating competitions and there's nobody there to say "Luna , I'm proud of you" when I did well and all the other kids would say like "Yay ! My Mum/Dad is here to see me !"
But still I feel fortunate that I have a roof over my head and some money to buy food and to survive .

ME ?

I like to keep things to myself .
It was so hard for me to talk to people or to open up my feelings to someone.
I had friends though , they were the people that I play catching/ice and water with during recess and the people whom I go LAN with during secondary school or do crazy stuff after school and have fun .
I used to have a best friend in primary school , she was the reason why I put on alot of weight ( I used to be damn skinny and she was jealous ) but we lost contact after I moved .
After that I didn't know what having a best friend felt like , everyone I kinda knew were making drama like disturbing the outcast of the class or competing against each other but pretending to be so close and friendly .
I had to be careful of who I trusted and that was so hard .
It used to be "This is my friend" or "I don't wanna friend you anymore!" and suddenly it became "I don't like this girl because aslfjheoiryhejfdadgfgfgfdgfdg and when we hang out she's so qoewisdhbgtdjnvxughrgg "
If you don't like that person why are you still hangingout with her and acting so nice?!
ARRRGGGHHHHHH WHY ARE THINGS SO COMPLICATEDDDDD ?!
So anyway , when I went to SOTA I met this girl .
She's called Melody . There were 4 girls called Melody from the same Year so I called her Greyster because she loves the color grey and friendster was like the thing back then .
We hung out alot , and for the first time of my life I sneaked out after dark and got into trouble with my parents at like 10 pm when I reached home .
We cried to songs that reminded us about our crush , we practiced music together and got into so much trouble basically we were with each other for almost the whole year I was at SOTA , until I got kicked out.
We've drifted apart and we had so much up's and down's in our friendship , I could remember almost everything that happened .
That girl , I call her my best friend .
Reason ?
She was the few people I could be real with and I know I can trust her while we are in a society that has so many hypocrites that were ready to put anyone down anytime and it's sad to know that we are still living in it.
Although we aren't that close any more, she's the first person I would call when I go through a mental breakdown and she would be there and give me advice and such .
I really appreciate her existence.

So here's to you ,
Thanks for remembering that I am still around after these 6 long years .
You took up a big part of my life when I was growing up .
And I hope you're gonna be around long because 
Baby you light up my world and you got a love like woe-ah-oh-ah-oh
Forget it I suck at this .
Thanks for being here when I need you and I'll be seeing you to collect my present BEEEEECCCCHHH :D

And to my cutiepies ,
Thanks for hanging around and supporting me , I love you guys .
I hope you guys would be around for the fan meet , I miss you all so much *bear hug*
AND I'm NOT SORRY for this weird post ,

*boop*

Love or disaster?

What is love ? Does it lead to a relationship that last forever or does it make you feel miserable and really happy at the same time ? Sometimes I ask myself what is my relationship about, I don't even understand why I'm still fighting so hard to keep things going . It's always fighting , feeling so miserable and sad and suddenly we could make up and feel so loved like we could never be apart from each other . I always get jealous at the other couples , like how are they so perfect together and so happy ? I never asked . All I know is that I'm losing myself to the guy that might be the love of my life . Love isn't selfish , and it's supposed to be so patient and kind but despite everything that has happened I cant seem to feel the warmth I first felt from you and so much time has been lost searching for it . I keep having this question asked " How are you so patient with a guy like him ? " . The answer is I don't know , maybe because I keep thinking that everything would be better in time but it doesn't and then I try again . All we do is just keep holding on. It's funny how humans could just sacrifice everything they have and ask for nothing in return just for love , is it really worth it to have everything drained away from you ? To have me under your spell ; something I don't want to break free from , thinking that we could just leap into 'happily ever after' in each other's arms . I know what's best for me but you've put me down whenever I had the courage to ask you for it. If only you could show me that I'm really worth it, I promise I'll never let you down . Don't forget the promises you've made to me .. p.s There's so many things on my mind but I cant really touch on anything much so sorry for the short post .

Self Respect and Suicide

I decided to brig this up because of some recent events .
This girl on twitter trended for awhile because of her sending a nude top half picture if herself to her boyfriend .
So apparently she two timed him and because he was angry the picture got leaked onto the net.
First of all , girls :
It should be instilled in your common sense to never send nude pictures , don't even take any , really .

It might feel good at that moment of time where by the guy would ogle at your body because of his raging hormones but , having to feel good about yourself at the cost of your own self respect , is it really worth it ?

I feel for that girl , it is her fault for being stupid and unfaithful but at that age when you're going through puberty and you're trying to grow up and be an adult , you would tend to do things that you shouldn't have done , the adolescent brain has yet to develop and that might be one of the reasons why she is not matured enough to think for herself yet .

That guy who posted it up : I hope you feel good taking revenge . How would you feel if she couldn't take it and committed suicide because of shame , would it satisfy your hatred and sadness or whatever you were feeling when you posted the picture up on the net ?

Moving on to suicide ..

It's a crime to do this in Singapore .

Coming from a person suffering from depression , I have always felt like shit whenever someone says that when a person threatens or say that they want to commit suicide , they are just seeking attention .
Yep , they are . But is it all negative attention ?
It might be a cry for help ; to have a person's life to be pushed to the limit whereby they don't even want to live anymore , there must be something that makes them feel that way , nobody in the right mind would just want to die so badly for no reason right ?

For me I am a common case , typical girl who gets hurt by a relationship and wants to end her life because she feels that nobody loves her .
There's this one time one of my bestfriends was quarreling with her boyfriend and it was so bad that she climbed over the railing and wanted to jump down from the 8th floor , luckily that guy pulled her off and she didn't .
He thought that she was doing it just to seek attention and make him feel bad just so they wouldn't fight anymore , that wasn't anywhere near how she felt . She was feeling so hurt she couldn't get her mind straight that she wanted to jump . I would have never blamed her for feeling that way . It is very common for girls to be too overwhelmed by emotions and do things on impulse according to how we feel.

When I was suffering from depression, it was hell for the first 5 years. I had no confidence in myself because of what my mother constantly said to me , that I'm ugly, stupid, I should just die, I don't deserve to live and she regretted giving birth to me . Up till now she still says that from time to time . I used to cover my face with my fringe because I thought that nobody should see my face . I got hurt by guys whom I felt alot for , they always say this "I won't be like that other guy who hurt you " and then they do . LOLOLOLOL so usually I had nobody to turn to except my boyfriend or my friends .

So anyway ,
I used to self-mutilate because I was sad and angry at myself and many times I wanted to commit suicide because I was hurt by my mum and things that people do to me. I have got to say that I grew out of it after awhile because I kept praying to God and I have some wonderful friends that helped me cope with myself .

Committing suicide to let go of yourself when you're miserable is a way of escaping your life , I feel for those who have died because of the agony they were living in ,  I know a few who had passed on miserably .

For people who made someone feel so bad about themselves that they want to escape their lives because they hate it so much , I hope you feel at least a sense of guilt because you contributed to the reason why they chose to die instead of looking forward to the many happy things that life could bring them and make them treasure it more .
A cry for help is never attention seeking , stop saying that . You'll never know what that person is actually feeling inside or what he/she is thinking of .

For those who use suicide as an excuse to get out of shit , fuck you , stop it . You're making people not believe in other people who really feel that way , it works like " the boy who cried wolf"

And for those who are living in despair , don't give up . You'll never know what life would bring when you live on , there are possibilities of your life getting better , don't eliminate them . Find people who you can talk to , people who would understand , people who can council and guide you through because after a storm there would be a rainbow . Don't give up . There's always somebody who loves you , you may not know it but there are .

Note for Ahting : I hope you're better now , I don't know you , I won't judge you . But I really hope that this is a lesson for you , have more self respect for yourself and learn how to protect yourself .
Don't make it cheap for guys if you want them to treat you like a lady . All the best . (;

All about Tr-US-t

Trust is a word so simple to give a meaning to but really hard to carry out .
Have you ever doubted someone you should give your trust to ?
Especially when it comes to close friends/relationship , it's really easy to say "I trust you" but at the back of your mind there would definitely be a voice saying "I don't think so ....." despite all the assurance that the other party has given you .

I never had an issue with trusting somebody , if someone asks for it , I would gladly give it to them . But you have to know , that this thing you give out is like a piece of glass , once that person breaks it , even if you mend it back and give it to them once again , it's never gonna be the same , it's gonna be weaker and weaker until there's nothing left to fix .

Sometimes I do wish that life is gonna be easy but with the cunning society , there's a person in every corner that's gonna try to take you down with this .
I've heard too many "hey man , trust me" to not doubt that it might be a facade .
Another typical way of proving that this is real is the amount of backstabbing among "friends" especially in secondary school .
It scares me at that point of time because I took me awhile to realize that hypocrites are everywhere and it was so hard not to hear people gossip about each other , or hear your friends tell on your other friends what they said behind your back.

Especially girls .

Some girls were kinda scary with their sharp tongues whenever they are offended even by the slightest things and they never run out of something to say .
This was the main reason why I chose to stay at home to study and game like 1/3 of my time in my secondary school life . The rest of the time were spent in school and my CCA: military band .

Anyway to get back to the topic , I find it hard to refuse when I have to trust my boyfriend
although I will always have doubts but , what else can I do but to trust him ?

It's hard to see the effort you put in being wasted and flushed down the toilet when you find out that he lied / cheated and it would really hurt a lot and you really wished that you trusted him fully and didn't have itchy fingers and poked yourself into things that you would never want to find out because it hurts to see things like that , and that 10 minutes ago you were so happy and now you're just crushed . But after all of that you only could just trust him and wait for any form of explanation because you're looking for something that you could hold on to even if it's not real , just because you can't bear to lose him/her .

That's the problem with being human , we trust and love too much ,
It's the way of life in a sense .
Everybody just wants to be happy or tries their best not to be sad .
We all want to me loved , and we love the people who loves us .
Trust is always going to be a problem in human-human relationships , be it friends , family and lovers .
It is something so easily broken but we give it to people so easily that it might lose it's meaning and purpose .
The more you believe , the more it hurts when it's broken .
To keep it going requires a huge doze of honesty , forgiveness and compromising .
And to those who doesn't trust anyone easily , please teach me the way master (;

To end this off on a happier note , we should believe in us because we put the "us" in "trust" .
I hope I don't make anyone feel bad about this post , it's just Luna ranting out how she feels about every thing deep inside (;
Aaaaanndddd it's time for the *Boop!

Bright lights and studying

Have you ever wondered why our eyes are so easily distracted by lights ?
Sometimes it's annoying , sometimes it looks beautiful . Bright shiny lights like Christmas , fireworks and bubbles in the sunlight , so beautiful and intriguing ..
I guess the most beautiful part about that is the fact that we are able to see it and embrace it .
I don't know about you , but as long as I can see something , I'm happy enough , I feel blessed .

How are you guys ?

I'm really stressed out by my exams ..

Honestly speaking I haven't been attending school much because I am sick regularly . It's not good to be sick and miss lessons because you wouldn't be able to catch up on the amount of school work that overloads my disk space . And for someone who barely goes to school 2 days per week , I'm feeling the load . I have too much to study for ..

I heard some of you guys are having exams too, so here are some things to take note of if you really want to study . I didn't do any research on this BUT, it works really well for me

#1 Find out what kind of study person you are .
For me I'm good at compiling my own notes after reading notes from my teacher . Some people work well if they highlight their key words/ draw diagrams , some absorb better if they visit websites for video tutorials, video&audio based notes . See which one works well for you , it has to do with whether you're a visual / audio / experimental kinda person . I'm a more of the experimental type so yeahhhhhh ..

#2 *VERY IMPORTANT* Find out at which time of the day would be able to absorb / concentrate more .
It's very important to seclude yourself away from other distractions such as friends and activities and noise and blah blah blah . Most people absorb information more on a fresh mind (morning/after a good rest) , some people are night owls and their brain somehow absorbs more when they are tired or after activities during the day and such . I'm one of the night study kinda people . It's more quiet and I can concentrate better , because everyone else is asleep . Furthermore I'm kinda motivated by the fact that I'm tired and I need to get things done before I go to bed so my brain tends to work faster and I use less time to study well . P.S it's a belief that when a person is tired , they tend to find an easy way to do things effectively & some people actually set alarm notes to wake them up in the middle of their sleep just for them to force themselves to get something done .

#3 If you have remedial lessons , pay really close attention in class .
Teachers tends to emphasize on the things that might come out during exams when it's an obvious last minute rush to study . I don't remember any teacher of mine being draggy and covering all the topics including the ones that are not gonna come out for the exam. Remember to raise any doubts because teachers are the best people to ask questions to. They can answer almost anything .

#4 If  you're googling anything , don't just stop at one site as your only source . There might be other theories as well !

#5 Take breaks.<
Unless you're a robot , don't over strain yourself . It is effective to take a break once when you feel tired from studying . It doesn't have to be long , check your twitter or go grab a bite .

#6 DON'T SNACK WHILE YOU'RE STUDYING .
I personally don't think that it is good to let things distract you while you're trying to study , but it seems to be a common practice to eat something while you're studying . It makes your brain focus on two things instead of one but if it works for you , why not ? /;

#7 DON'T LIE DOWN AND STUDY
No really alot of people do this , it's too comfortable . Are you studying or resting ? Do one at a time .

#8 Group studying , really ?
I am a non-believer of a thing called group studying . I am confident that 70% of the people who goes to group studying would end up just talking to their friends and waste time , maybe study for like 10minutes and complain that it's too hard / boring . Some people like to just leech off notes because they brought nothing at all . Yep , I have experienced it myself . If you really wanna study with your friends , limit it to small group of 2-4 people , people who really have the intention to study . Or another alternative is that you study alone , if you have any doubts then drop your friend a text or give them a call to ask . And then when it's solved , continue .

So I hope you guys find at least one of these 8 tips helpful . If there's anything you wanna add on / comment on or if you have any other tips as well , feel free to comment on the post or tweet me ! C'mon I want feed backs too ! Maybe I can learn a thing or two for my last minute studying . Boop!

Welcome message

Yay I've got a new blog .
This blog is like a key to one side of my heart and I'm handing you guys a pair of X-ray vision goggles to take a look at it .
I spent like a few hours trying to do up a blogskin , my gosh , I've lost my touch at doing such a thing .
Anyone wants to do it for me ? HAHAHAH
So anyway, for the past few days I've been trying my best to think of happy thoughts but whenever I managed to grab hold of some it just disappears into thin air .
I have to keep on looking forward, I don't wanna live in the past.
At the same time I cannot find many things to be happy about , I am trying so hard to do something at least ..
I even went to the extend to Google some lame jokes and download cute games just to keep myself occupied and because of that I got really addicted to this game :

It is a really really adorable game okay, don't judge me .

I am really not making full use of my time , and it's 4 am in the morning and I'm blogging instead of sleeping 

Let me tell you guys a secret , my computer is in my kitchen ; yes the most absurd place for a computer to be at but I am loving it here .

I get access to the washroom and fridge easily when I'm in the middle of a game so it's pretty awesome .

And right now I'm hearing my guinea pigs play around , they sound so cute .  I think they are disturbed from their sleep by the sound that my keyboard makes so I'm gonna head for bed now .

Gonna run from the darkness that might catch me before I reach my bed , BOOP!